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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 05:17
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I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
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Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
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We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
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In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
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A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
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Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
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There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
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Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
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Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
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I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
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I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
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Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
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Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
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I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/24/(Tue) 22:47
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